What is life without humor?
Dull and boring, am I right? That’s why today, we have five of the funniest motorcycle jokes to share with you, and by the end of this, if you’re not laughing, then well, we’ll just have to go hunting for more motorcycle jokes! Get whatever you need ready now – tissues, water, a place where your neighbors won’t look at you – and get ready to bust out laughing!
1. This little old lady decides one day that she wants to join a biker club, so she goes down to her local club and knocks on the door. The door is opened by a big hairy biker with a beard, who’s covered in tattoos. “I’d liked to join your club,” says the little old lady. The biker is amused by this and decides to play along, telling her, “Ok, but you’ve got to meet the requirements first. Do you have a bike?” The little old lady points to a Harley and says, “Yeah, that’s my bike there.” The biker is surprised but says, “And do you smoke?” The little old lady says, “Yeah, I smoke 20 cigarettes a day, and when I’m shooting pool I’ll smoke a few cigars too.” The biker is impressed and says, “And have you ever been picked up by the Fuzz?” The little old lady says, “No, but I’ve been swung around by the nipples a few times.”
2. A man is stranded on a desert island, all alone for ten years. One day, he sees a speck in the horizon. He thinks to himself, “It’s not a ship.” The speck gets a little closer and he thinks, “It’s not a boat.” The speck gets even closer and he thinks, “It’s not a raft.” Then, out of the surf comes this gorgeous blonde woman, wearing a wet suit and scuba gear. She comes up to the guy and she says, “How long has it been since you’ve had a cigarette?” “Ten years!” he says. She reaches over, unzips a waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, “Man, oh man! Is that good!” Then she asks, “How long has it been since you’ve had a drink of whiskey?” He replies, “Ten years!” She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a flask and gives it to him. He takes a long swig and says, “Wow, that’s fantastic!” Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, “And how long has it been since you’ve had some REAL fun?” And the man replies, “My God! Don’t tell me you’ve got a motorcycle in there!”
3. A young man walked into our insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. “Do you have a lien holder on the vehicle?” “I’ve got a kickstand,” the prospect replied. “Is that the same thing?”
4. A man appeared before St. Pete at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “Once on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker, and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground.I yelled ‘Now, back off! Or I’ll kick the shit out of you!” St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?” The man replied, “Oh, just a couple of minutes ago.
5. Q: On average, how much cash do bikers spend on beer? A: A staggering amount.
Tell us in the comments section below which motorcycle joke was your favorite? Do you have any motorcycle jokes of your own that you’d like to share with us? We’d love to read them!