These days, relationships last in the blink of an eye and are not essentially based on true love, cherish and respect. In any case, love -stories that have endured the test of time and left a stamp in history are continuously a true motivation and manage to reestablish our confidence in love.
Yet, the happiness in love and marriage requires much more than just love or attraction. Andrea Mathews, a Licensed Professional Counselor, a Certified Counseling Supervisor, and a National Certified Counselor, agrees:
“Being in love does not guarantee that a relationship will work. Relationships require also compatibility and relationship skills on the part of both parties. But the “in love” requirement is a must. Relationships are not easy for they bring us to the deepest parts of ourselves. Therefore, being in love must be an aspect of any healthy long-term commitment and being sure that it is love, therefore, is an intensely important first step.”
According to Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling:
“Healthy adult love exists when both partners are emotionally interdependent; meaning that both partners love one another, care for one another, desire physical closeness with one another, but respect each other enough to have their own identities as well.”
Adoring relationships take effort, so in order to create eternal love , both partners need to totally devote to it.
Mudita Rastogi, Ph.D., a licensed marriage and family therapist in Arlington Heights, Ill, advises:
“Your interests, opinions, and experiences can change as you grow. But if you share the same core belief systems, you will have a platform from which to build a strong relationship.”
However, keep in mind to respect each other and provide your partner the freedom s/he needs:
“We are all multifaceted, complex creatures. Your partner will never be able to match all your needs and interests. It is OK to pursue some separate activities, either individually, or with friends, apart from your partner.”
Furthermore, Meredith Hansen, Psy.D, a clinical psychologist who specializes in couples, premarital and newlywed counseling, maintains:
“Knowing what you both need out of life and working together to create those dreams a reality will reinforce the bond in your marriage. “
Sharp, Ph.D., a psychologist in private practice who specializes in relationship issues, says:
“Long lasting true love is when two individuals make a commitment to each other and choose to act in ways that support their sentiments for each other and their connection”
The following story was an illustration of such love that kept going for seven decades, and it’ll certainly melt your heart:
They met on a blind date, while they were studying in Philadelphia, Preble Staver, who was born on October 17, 1921, and Isabell Whitney, born on October 31 of the same year. Since day one, these two youngsters knew that they are destined to go through life hand by hand.
When the US entered the WW II they both chosen to sign up. While Preble joined as a Marine and finished up getting a Bronze Star, Isabell was a Navy nurse in Maryland. Five months after the end of the war, they rejoined and married on February 15, 1946.
Their life was full of love and bliss, and they were both determined to cope with all troubles together. After the war, Preble worked as a lobbyist and investor, so they had to move a lot around U.S.
According to one of their five children, the 63-year-old Laurie Staver Clinton, Preble was “a tall, outgoing man with a strong, ‘larger than life’ personality” and Isabell was described as“[her]
According to one of their five children, the 63-year-old Laurie Staver Clinton, Preble was “a tall, active man with a solid, ‘larger than life’ personality” and Isabell was portrayed as“[her] heart” and somebody who “taught [her] how to be a kind individual, how to be a compassionate person.”
In 1975, their child, Dwindle, died during the final football game of his high school senior year.
“At that point, we started to truly see a milder side of my father. Parents aren’t assumed to bury their kids which truly took a toll on my people, but it also brought them together. Something like that can either tear a couple apart, but they made a agreement to get through it together. They truly were each other’s support team.”
Life brought about numerous challenges afterward, and in 2013, Isabell started showing dementia signs. This made them to move into a long-term care facility in Norfolk, Virginia.
They remained within the same place but slept in separate rooms. These times were especially difficult for them, especially for Preble, who was forced to observe his cherished one drift deeper into the illness.
“They just found another way to express their love. My father, even after he stopped walking and was in a wheelchair, he would wheel himself down to the Memory Care Unit and go visit my mother. When I would reunite them, they continuously, the first thing they’d do was put their hands out and hold each other’s hand and tell each other they loved each other.”
Preble was one final wish before his 96th birthday, to have one more nap with his wife.
His wish was made true with the assistance of the staff of the facility, and the couple had three hours for a rest, in order to enjoy their true love once more, being one next to each other.
“There was not a single word talked between the two of them. They held hands and just fell asleep.”
Only a few days afterward, on October 25, 2017, Isabell passed away, and her spouse was there to say goodbye. After 14 hours, Preble died too.
This was the end of their astonishing life together, that endured for 71 years. However, their love left an extraordinary stamp in the lives of all individuals that had the chance to meet them.
Laurie put it in a nutshell:
“Mom and dad truly lived out that, if you make a commitment, and even though life gets unpleasant or life gets in the way, you work through life. And you live your life together.”